Recasting Twilight

This article originally appeared on (now defunct).


Today we’ll start with the upcoming movie Twilight. First off, please don’t comment on the actual Twilight books past the first one, because we haven’t finished them all yet. Unfortunately, this one has a lot of space/time continuum exceptions, because (and it’s probably a good thing), Natalie and I aren’t all that knowledgeable of the current teen acting population, barring Hannah Montana and the cast of High School Musical (and I’m totally speaking for myself on HSM, Natalie has not seen them).

I do give away some details of the book just trying to explain our choices, so if that’s going to bother you, don’t read this…

Now, on to the movie. Here is the real cast for this December’s release:

Bella: Kristen Stewart

Edward Cullen: Robert Pattinson

Jacob: Taylor Lautner

Charlie: Billy Burke

Carlisle: Peter Facinelli

Esme: Elizabeth Reaser

Rosalie: Nikki Reed

Alice: Ashley Greene

Jasper: Jackson Rathbone

Emmett: Kellan Lutz

James: Cam Gigandet

Laurent: Edi Gathegi

Victoria: Rachelle Lefevre

Mike Newton: Michael Welch

There are more characters, but let’s be honest, these are the people we care about.

Last night while we walked (four miles; woohoo!), here are some of the alternatives we came up with:

Bella: We couldn’t really think of anyone, but neither of us really care for Kristen Stewart. Natalie said that she’s growing on her. I conceded that after seeing In the Land of Women, she’s definitely teen angst-y enough. We’ll let her slide, even though she’s awkward looking. I guess Bella is, too. Honestly, I don’t care for Bella as a character. The Cullens, however, have the Superfriends quality. Like a crossover TV show…all your favorites in one place!

Edward Cullen: Cedric is pretty much right on target, actually. The Russian kid from Charlie Bartlett would have been good, too, I think, but Natalie pointed out that he looks a little young…

Jacob: Sharkboy is an okay pick, I guess. We couldn’t think of anyone that would be better. I have some serious drawbacks about Sharkboy as Jacob when thinking ahead in the story, but I can’t get into it now because Natalie hasn’t finished book 2. But…if you have, you probably feel the same way…

Charlie: Billy Burke is way too pretty, even though he can be described as Daniel and Billy Baldwin smushed together. Natalie suggested Bill Pullman, to which I replied “20 years ago.” I would vote for someone like Jeffrey Dean Morgan if they made him gain ten to 15 pounds. Charlie’s supposed to be, what, like…36 (19+17)?

Carlisle: We both agreed that Peter Facinelli doesn’t work here for two reasons: 1. He looks awful as a blond and 2. he’s too old. When they make dark featured people blond in movies, it’s like they come down with Freddie Prinze, Jr. Syndrome (think Scooby Doo)…they’re really washed out. It’s like Draco Malfoy past the first movie. Carlisle is 23…so…we sug­gested the blond Nordic guy from House. This guy. He’d be awesome, particu­larly seeing him this way. Another amazing Carlisle, to me, would have been Neal McDonough, 15 years ago (although, judging by looks and not age, let’s place it at 30 years; NM has lived a rough life, apparently).*


Esme: I can’t remember what the book says, but Natalie pictures someone small, curvy and dark, like Salma Hayek. I pic­ture someone small, cute and fair, like Kristen Chenowith. Either way, neither of us pick the crazy from Grey’s Anatomy.


Rosalie: When I see the character in the book, I see Ali Larter (Natalie added “10 years ago). I don’t think I’ll be able to convince myself of Nikki Reed as a blond.

Alice: Natalie thinks this Ashley Greene girl, who we’ve never seen before, is too blocky. When I see Alice in the book, I think of the bulimic girl from Centerstage and Drive Me Crazy (maybe…five years ago). Except that she smiles. When I think about a blocky girl playing Alice, I think about the awful choice of who they got to play Tonks (I associate these characters in my head). Boo. Natalie would have liked Winona Ryder circa Dracula, but they still haven’t perfected time travel.

Jasper: This is my favorite character, btw. We’ve had trouble with this one, because while there are some great candidates (Robert Sean Leonard**, 15 years ago; Boone (from LOST)), none of them are blond. And we can’t go pulling a Freddie Prinze, Jr.


Emmett: Two words, one character. Smith Jared. He’d be awesome; especially if it were 2003 (meaning, if he were five years younger). The guy playing him now isn’t quite “big” enough. Natalie uses the adjective “corn fed,” which pretty much nails it. Emmett should look like a farm hand, pretty much, a really hot farm hand. While Smith Jared is pretty much the best choice, I need to throw out Tyler Hilton, since I already mentioned the movie Charlie Bartlett. BTW, when did Tyler Hilton grow up?


James: This guy has Freddie Prinze, Jr. syndrome. Boo. We couldn’t really think of anyone who wouldn’t be pretty enough (to blend into the woodwork, as they mention in the book). Today, though, I thought maybe Luke Perry, 15 years ago. Natalie, today, thought of Tobey Maguire, which is a pretty great call-not remarkable looking, but tough looking. And he wouldn’t even have to look younger…Natalie also thinks Jason Dohring, from Moonlight, would be a good choice.

Laurent: I’ve only seen the pictures, and the guy playing this character is pretty hot. I’m making no changes. Natalie has no suggestions, but isn’t really happy with this guy.

Victoria: I love Rachel Lefavre ever since What About Brian. I’m making no changes. To me, she’s perfect, in that she has a pretty soft look, which makes her shocking as a vampire. Natalie and I talked about this some, but didn’t come to any specific conclusions.

Mike Newton: Looking at this guy, who I’d never heard of, he looks pretty spot on. When I read the book, though, I pic­ture Draco Malfoy.

So there you have it…our pics for the cast of Twilight. Now…someone hire us to cast a move…STAT!

*For the record, Natalie thinks Neal McDonough looks like he’s in his late-30s. So I guess I’m just a shallow jerk.

**It is perfectly acceptable to bookmark this post and read it regularly as an excuse to come stare at Robert Sean Leonard. Sigh.

2 thoughts on “Recasting Twilight

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