WARNING: Spoilers ahead.
Ringer wasn’t a show high on my priority list for what to watch this fall. Mainly because I didn’t have a clue what it was about. I knew there were two Sarah Michelle Gellars – aaaand that’s about it. I decided to give it a shot tonight just to see what all the fuss was about. I mean, people were freaking out about SMG returning to TV. I have to admit that I’ve never been a huge fan of hers and I’ve never seen an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know! I’m so un-American. So, really I didn’t have much to lose.
Here’s what I gathered from the pilot episode:
-There are two Sarah Michelle Gellars. One is named Bridget and she’s a recovering addict and stripper. Classy! Her twin sister is an uptight, bitchy gal by the name of Siobhan (pronounced Shi-von). All I can think of when I hear the name Siobhan (which isn’t that often) is this.
– Bridget is under witness protect and NESTOR CARBONELL, a.k.a. Richard Alpert, is looking after her. Lucky! (Honestly, once I found out he was on this show I was pretty much sold on watching the rest of the season). Bridget was arrested for assaulting a policeman and stealing his weapon, but she was an eye-witness to a murder so the charges were going to be dropped had she testified for the trial. She didn’t testify and now she’s on the run from the now-free murderer who is out to get her. Oh, the drama!
-Siobhan appears to have the perfect life, i.e. a handsome British husband, loads of money and a wardrobe consisting of mostly white clothes – and one fancy red dress to wear to benefits. (Remember: white clothes = rich) Also? Her husband doesn’t know she has a twin sister. Hi-oooh!
-To make things even more tricky, Siobhan takes a bunch of pills and jumps into a vast body of water while the sisters are out having some fun on a speed boat and kills herself. Bridget decides to pretend to be Siobhan in order to “start over” but little does she know that Siobhan’s life isn’t much easier than being a fugitive.
-Siobhan and her BFF Gemma (who could easily be Mayim Bailik’s older sister) appear to be interior decorators and we find out that Siobhan has been having an affair with BFF’s husband and BFF is suspicious of the husband. I bet they won’t be BFF for long! Also, the husband is played by Kristoffer Polaha whom I LOVE. He was in the short-lived Miss Guided with Judy Greer and had small parts in Better Off Ted, Mad Men and the now cancelled Life Unexpected. The boy gets around! He hasn’t had much luck in the past so here’s hoping Ringer works out for him.
-We find out during a commercial break that 30 Rock will be on five nights a week this fall on the CW! Hooray!
-Siobhan is in a bit of trouble herself because her “BFF” asks her to meet at the creepy loft they’ve been decorating, but BFF isn’t there. A guy with a crowbar and a ski mask is waiting for her and somehow they start listening to Patsy Cline and she shoots the lone crowbarman and finds a photo of Siobhan in his pocket! Geesh!
-Also, SIOBHAN ISN’T DEAD! She’s just hanging out in Paris, everybody. Duh. That’s where all rich ladies go after they fake their death. I should’ve known.
I think those are the high points! Did I leave out anything other than how awfully fake that speedboat ride looked at the beginning? Seriously awful. Also, if anyone knows who is singing that nifty cover of “25 or 6 to 4” about 18 minutes in, please let me know. I dig it.