We Watched It (So You Don’t Have To): The Sound of Music Live

SOUNDMUSIC_KA_HORZ_F3

Before reading, here is what you should know. Molly and I are both HUGE fans of The Sound of Music. Any kind of remake is disappointing and frankly not something that ever needed to happen. But it did happen and we had thoughts about it. But while we both wanted something disastrous to happen (because LIVE television!), we also held secret hope that it would great.

And you know, it just wasn’t the original. But it had it’s good moments. You’ll never hear me doubt Carrie Underwood’s vocal prowess again (after the next paragraph, that is) and there were so many great Broadway-turned-TV actors filling these iconic roles. But for the most part? We were just whelmed.

Thursday, around noon

Haley Bragg:  Tonight’s the night.

Molly Gentry: it’s the day of the show!!

HB: Whoop! I mean, this is going to be a disaster, right?

MG:  a complete disaster and I can’t wait. I hope one disastrous thing does happen

HB: It’s like going to hockey game. You leave feeling disappointed if you don’t see a fight. (Bonus points for hockey reference when in conversation about a Carrie Underwood project?)

MG:  10 points to Gryffindor!

HB: Um, the Sorting Hat has me in Ravenclaw.

MG:  my bad

Well, I watched the making of this monstrosity last week and Carrie Underwood and Stephen Moyer seem to have zero chemistry. which is awesome and about par for the course when it comes to Carrie Underwood, amIright? She’s kind of like a robot, no?

HB: That’s because Stephen Moyer is CHEMISTRY-LESS.

MG:  so that should be awesome. apparently this is the stage version that they’re doing and not the movie. I’m curious to see what the differences are. I heard the songs are a bit different and there might even be some songs that aren’t in the movie. yikes (http://www.vulture.com/2013/12/how-tv-sound-of-music-diferent-from-film.html?mid=facebook_vulture)

HB: Interesting. I don’t know anything about the stage version.

MG:  neither do I. So, what, if anything, are you looking forward to the most with this Live broadcast?

HB: Forgotten lines. Vocal mishaps. A kid throwing up? Anything to make it go wrong.

MG:  agreed. I can’t wait to see how Carrie Underwood does in a role made famous by JULIE FREAKING ANDREWS

HB: I’m sure that Carrie is a perfectly nice person, I am just 100% not on board with her as an actress. (And not entirely convinced of her musical abilities. See: her performance of Yesterday.)

MG:  oh gosh that was awful. I had forgotten about that. I think she’s a great vocalist with a great range and I’ve never seen her act. but I don’t think it could be that great. I just wonder why she was chosen or if there were any other people up for the role. I would really like to know that

HB: Assuming they HAD to make this (I’m happy seeing it never be remade) who would you have chosen if you were doing the casting?

MG:  oh boy, that’s a great question. these songs are so difficult to sing that I don’t know of a truly GREAT actress with that kind of range. My first thought was Idina Menzel purely for her singing ability

HB: Hmm, I’m thinking blondes…

MG:  are you thinking Kristen Chenoweth?

HB: No way. Too cute.

MG:  right

HB: Love her, but just not right. I’m thinking Amanda Seyfried.

MG:  oh boy. i just can’t get on board with that. don’t get me wrong, she’s wonderful. But not my favorite singing voice. she sounds like a chipmunk with that vibrato

HB: Hmm, maybe. I don’t really know her voice that well. Just that she CAN sing. And is a pretty decent actress with you know, personality.

MG:  i agree

HB:  Plus, she’s beautiful. But not a typical Hollywood blonde.

MG:  yes. she is. what about Captain? who would you put in there?

HB: I seriously almost said Cory Monteith.

MG:  WAH WAAAAAAHHHH. so sad. he would be so sweet in it

HB: I know, it would kind of be perfect.

MG:  I bet you want Paul Walker to play Rolf, don’t you?

HB: TOO SOON, MOLLY.

MG:  I know..

HB:(Perfect casting, though. Except age-wise.)

MG:  I KNOW

HB: Anyway. Maybe someone like Jim Sturgess or Aaron Tveit?

MG:  i like all these people, but they just look so young. I can see Tveit as Rolf

HB: Yeah, I know. I guess they should be older than her, technically.

James Marsden?

MG:  I would get behind James Marsden as Captain

HB: OR Ewan McGregor.

MG:  STOP IT

yes

yes, a thousand times yes

ooooh, Nicole Kidman could be the Baroness

I’m liking our version so much better. We’re in for such a let-down tonight

HB: It’s going to be terrible compared to what we’ve come up with!!

MG:  when do we get to start working for NBC? We still love that network after all these years

HB: Seriously. We’re the only ones that have championed it from high to very, very low.

MG:  and tonight we reach another very very low point

HB: But you know, probably huge ratings.

MG:  oh I’m sure. they can only go up from here

Thursday, SHOWTIME!

Haley Bragg: I love the old NBC logo. LOVE.

Molly Gentry: *high point

HB:  It gives me high hopes for the whole thing, but who knows. And I had no idea about Audra McDonald!!

MG:  seriously?!

HB: (I haven’t looked at a cast list past Carrie/Steven)

MG:  oh nice. there are a couple of winners in there

(Uncle Max)

is it a requirement that you can sing really well to be a nun? It was in Sister Act, as well

HB: Yes – that’s why I’m not one.

MG:  and I bet habits get a little stuffy

oh gosh. here we go

HB: I know it’s supposed to be stage production-y, but that set.

MG:  it’s pretty hilarious. Carrie loves hugging trees. she must touch them at all times

HB: it’s a crutch

MG:  DID YOU SEE HER LOSE HER FOOTING FOR A SPLIT SECOND?

HB: NO! Hilarious.

MG:  that camera almost hit a column

HB:  hahaha. that one nun came in there REAL forcefully.

MG:  yeah she did. they’re so hateful

HB: the music is too loud

MG:  it is! these nuns can sing

HB: THEY HAVE TO

MG:  all. the. time. Audra just said “stop gossiping, b-yotch”

HB: yeah she did

MG:  I’m uncomfortable. Carrie is acting. kind of

HB: Well, she is. And you can tell.That’s the problem. And I think I’ve just pinpointed why I don’t like her for this. Julie Andrews SEEMED mischievous. Carrie seems like she’d be the most well-behaved nun ever. She is killing it on My Favorite Things, though.

MG:  that’s a good point. Julie Andrews had almost a tomboyish/rebelious feel about her; the haircut helped, so it made sense that she was all daydreamy and aloof

HB: Yes, exactly.

MG:  do we know how old the character of Maria is supposed to be?

HB: I don’t know; I always figured early 20s

HB: Here’s the other prob. I just don’t think Moyer is attractive.

MG:  you’re not alone in thinking that. you know who IS attractive? Ewan McGregor and James Marsden

HB: YES

MG:  and Christopher Plummer

HB: YES YES YES

MG :this house is so beige

HB: She blends right in.

MG:  she really does. she has a last name!

HB: I know!

MG:  I’m bored

HB: It just makes me wish I was watching the original.

MG:  for reals

oh man

HB: I kind of hate this.

MG:  they’re getting to know each other quick

oh gosh, carrie is so concerned with her guitar playing

HB: Why are they singing this inside?

MG:  put it down!!

i don’t know. it’s awful

HB: She took your advice!

MG: yes!!i kind of like her dress. minus the shoulder pads

HB: Ha, yeah. I do too.

MG: she should just sign them up for a music theory class

she’s winded and I’m winded just watching this

HB: I know! I also am ready for it to be over.

Oh MAN.

that guy is not just 1 year older than her.

MG: nice socks, Rolf

no he’s not

HB: Why aren’t they in the gazebo?!?!

MG: waaaaahhhhhhh. and she’s not wearing an awesome dress that is perfect for twirling in

HB: And if she doesn’t say “wheeeeeeee” and her tooth doesn’t glimmer I will LOSE MY SH*T.

MG: I’m afraid you might lose some sh*t tonight – I saw in the making-of how this song ends

HB: Oh man.

MG: maybe we’ll have a Christmas miracle

“I am 27 going on 28..”

HB: Right? Apparently they’re around 21 and 22 IRL.

MG: whoa

HB: She looks 12. He looks 20.

MG: at least they can dance

HB: And hug trees…

MG: there was a perfect opportunity for a “wheeeeeeeeee”

HB: PERFECT. Where is the rain?!?!?

MG: guh. how will Leisel and Maria bond?!

HB: It sounds rain-y. But I don’t see it.

MG: she said “it’s going to rain” these nightgowns are great

HB: I feel bad saying this, but Carrie is just not an actress.

MG: weak link. she’s just dull. THIS IS ALL WRONG

HB: WHAT?!?!?!?! Molly, there are 2 more hours of this!

MG:  heheheeh. I mean, I understand why they’re singing this I guess. but.. but, no

HB: It just makes me sad. I thought I had prepared for it to be different, but I just haven’t.

MG: this is way different. and a bit creepy. vocally, she’s killing it

HB: Yes, I agree.

MG: ok. this looks a lot like a soap opera doesn’t it?

HB: Hahaha, yes! Super soap opera-y.

MG: ok, what has she been in? the baroness?

HB: I LOVE LAURA BENANTI. She was most recently in Go On. #Goon

MG:  yes! i knew i recognized her. #Goon #NeverForget

HB: She was also in Eli Stone. Did you ever watch that?

MG: duh I did. #EliStone #NeverForget

HB: Hahaha. I loved that show so much.

Hey, it’s Tom!

MG: TOM!

HB: #Smash #NeverForget

MG: hahaahaha. can we just talk about failed tv shows we miss?

HB: I’m infinitely enjoying this segment of our conversation more than the previous. So, yes.

MG: ditto. her shoes. i want.

HB: She’s so great.

MG: I think this is the song on the soundtrack that always gets skipped

HB: For sure.

MG: she has the perfect look for this role

gosh, Stephen is so angry

Marta is sassypants

HB: Is Carrie unable to stop smiling?

CUE CARD.

MG: she must have slept with a hanger in her mouth. was there a glance at a cue card??

HB: Oh yeah. Carrie.

MG: awesome

HB: Okay, real talk. In the original movie, were there 2 different houses?

MG: hm, were there? I don’t know

HB: Like, the regular home and a summer home?

MG: I was never aware of that

HB: I think it was one of those things that my brain did. When they were roaming around the countryside and riding bikes and things, I turned it into traveling to a different house.

MG: Gretel is adorable

HB: I like Liesel’s dress.

MG: check out that camera angle. ok, this is probably my favorite scene in the movie when Maria and Captain dance together

HB: Is it? Is this hurting you?

MG: a little. I’ve already told myself I’ll be watching it later on

HB: The original?

MG: yup

HB: Yeah, we should watch it together.

MG: done. SNOB

HB: seriously! Spoiler alert, Maria. He’s creeps McGee

MG: I was just about to say that!

weird-o.

these kids. hahaha “wave to the camera!!”

HB: This is wrong.

MG: where’d that cardigan come from? I bet she made it out of a blanket

HB: She made it out of bath towels.

HA!

MG: eeeww

HB: Great minds…

MG: think similarlyyy!

I haven’t paid attention to this scene at all thanks twitter!

HB: Ha, me either. I’ve been reading this: http://www.parade.com/238419/erinhill/what-happened-to-the-real-von-trapp-family/#.UqE6XH4VXgk.facebook

I do love this song.

MG: it’s alright this article is interesting

dang, Audra Mac is good

HB: So good.

MG: ha, Max ended playtime QUICK

HB: Well, wouldn’t you?

MG: yup. I miss the sexual tension between Leisel and the Captain

HB: Gross

MG: it was there, though

HB: Heeeeeey Carrie. That blue does GOOD things for her whole look. Well, that and the loss of the braids.

MG: it does good things for the entire set. oh my gosh he’s awful.

one more hour

HB: The worst.

MG: zzzzzzzzzzzzz politics zzzzzzzz

HB: this is the part that i really never paid attention to.

MG: right

HB: some things never change.

MG: oooh, another skippable track. Can you imagine the original Baroness singing with that smoker’s voice she had?

HB: Hahaha, I honestly don’t know if this is the one that wasn’t in the movie or not.

MG: oh it wasn’t. was that a peppy song about Nazis?

HB: HOLD ON. When God shuts a door, he opens a window? That was NOT in the original, right? Please tell me this movie is not where that is from.

MG: I think I remember it in the movie

no no no NO NO NO NO NO

HB: He went for it in that kiss.

MG: yeah he did

HB: I think tongue was DEFINITELY involved.

MG: oh for sure. I officially don’t care for Stephen Moyer

HB: Yeah, I absolutely don’t.

MG: wedding time! what are these headpieces the girls are wearing?

HB: Um, the worst thing ever. Handkerchiefs? Really freaking big bows?

MG: just bad

this little group of nuns were like the first plastics from Mean Girls

HB: Hahahaha! They are the worst! Convincing girls not to go into the nunhood ever.

MG: so mean

HB: Was that a line forget?

MG: I don’t know.I’m half paying attention. Oh, I just got a kickstart update about the Veronica Mars movie. I think I’ll read that instead

HB: Hahaha. I’m SO excited about that movie!!

MG: SO EXCITED.

aw, that was a cute duet

HB: it was sweet. oooh, i like carrie’s shirt

MG: yeah, it’s pretty

Rolf’s a jerk now. I hate the turning point in movies

HB: It really bothers me that theirs was a love that didn’t last.

MG: they had their whole lives ahead of them

HB: Did he just say storm troopers?

MG: oh no! i missed it. did they?

HB: I think Max said it when he was running down the stairs.

MG: hehe

oh he forgot a line or something. this is awkward

this dress. wuuuuut? and a choker to boot

HB: yeah – it’s like her christmas dress or something.

MG: so festive

“DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!”

HB: Whoa, Nazis.

MG: hey, swastikas everywhere

HB: I stopped being able to hear the words.

MG: me too. their mouths were moving. Haley, this is hilarious

HB: this feels like SNL.

MG: it does.

oh man, this set does look like it’s from SNL

HB: Please do not butcher this song, Moyer.

MG: too late

I guess there’s supposed to be a weird echo?

HB: Yeah, I’m SURE they planned that.

MG: whoa, more headpieces and Jessica Rabbit

HB: Yeah, that’s not what she was supposed to look like.

HB: STORM TROOPERS!

MG: nazi storm troopers!

HB: I really thought that was just a Star Wars thing.

MG: I did too

#TheMoreYouKnow

ahhhh! it’s almost over!

HB: Praise God from whom all blessings flow…

MG: I don’t like how Carrie says “mountain”

HB: moun-tain

MG: yes. I now know that they didn’t escape on foot thanks to that article you sent me earlier

HB: Well, that was….something.

MG: it was an event we will remember forever…or a while at least

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s